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by lux vs lumen

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1.
Surprise 03:05
i surprise myself to say it that all you said was true, in the end but would it really have been better not to have to learn at all? don't make me listen, i know you didn't tell her i know you didn't tell her, i know
2.
Yurei 02:11
ちょっとお願いがあるんだ 潰して、僕の頭 泣いたところで、行かなきゃ やめるわけにゃ行かない、大変だよな でも、いつか、戻れる 友達も、家族もいる。 最近、あまり出かけない やっぱり、幽霊みたい 考えすぎる、そして寝たい 起きる時に、動けない 続けられるか、分かんない 死にたいことは、言えない。 (my translation) I have a little request could you bash in my head? Even if I cry, I still have to go It's not like I can quit, isn't that tough? But, someday, I'll be able to return my family and my friends will be there (/are here) Lately, I haven't been out much I guess I'm like a ghost I think too much, then I want to sleep When I wake up, I can't move I don't know if I can go on Wanting to die is something I cannot say
3.
cars drive down the road they make noise i can hear them coming i can hear them coming i can hear them coming birds fly through the air they make a pattern i can see them coming i can see them coming i can see them coming they're so excited to see me they make noise i can hear them coming i can hear them coming i can hear them coming they're coming up the stairs they make noise i can hear them coming i can hear them coming i can hear them coming it's almost time for me to go it's almost time i can feel it coming i can feel it coming i can feel it coming spirits buzzing in the wires they make noise i can hear them coming i can hear them coming i can hear them coming they're inside the plumbing i'm afraid i can feel them coming i can feel them coming i can feel them coming when they think they're alone i can hear them i can hear them talking, i can hear them crying, i can hear them moving, i can hear them breathing
4.
Interlude 01:39
5.
Redeye 03:37
stuck at the airport been here since 1pm waited eight hours to get on a redeye a redeye to boston a redeye to boston a redeye to boston a redeye to boston second time thru security flagged my backpack feared it was the weed gummies but it was just water so the agent was the last one who ever held that bottle it was kinda ugly but it had this one cool sticker on it just because of some weather on the other side of the country waited in a line behind a million maskless people so i called my mom, and i called my dad still had a few hours left to kill i just spent it watching all the other people waiting (fiddle solo) i'm still thinkin about that woman with her 3 kids "this isn't my city," she said, "got no place to stay" but the airlines don't even pay for hotel rooms anymore just like in 'I.G.Y.' i dream a future with high-speed rail stuck at the airport been here since 1pm waited eight hours to get on a redeye a redeye to boston a redeye to boston a redeye to boston a redeye to boston
6.
Laser Eyes 03:36
only a moment, i wait for one the [bee/beat] comes just know that you've won it's so yellow and red, a negative sun the tide goes, "breathe like me" i'll inhale it in and inhale it out it's one four one four one four one / won for one for one for one / ??? 'cause i got laser eyes burning down buildings burning down the precinct burning down the blue cross burning down the law firm burning down the real estate burning down the golf club burning down the private school burning down the government buildings, government buildings buildings with my eyes
7.
Alpenglow 04:25
sitting here, hands around my neck hurts but i like it like that i don't care what she thinks in this moment, i'm your plaything measured ice drips from the clouds it's beautiful, i see it now like a sunspot in the rain, we do the same thing again & again alpenglow, cockatiel sun morning moon, in a dream i don't care what anybody else says it's just a door, open it! wildflowers reach for the clouds it's beautiful, i see it now in a telltale fantasy, we live our vegetarian carnality (instrumental verse) got it down commiserated for the second time now like a child, i hold my surface in high esteem now though i trace the thorny path myself where it leads, show to someone else the page won't turn, so i tear to dust return, from dust become
8.
sun shines bright in my blue eyes her name in green on a truck going by just a coincidence, but still i'm reminded of how i had to say goodbye looking out at the city from behind it's amazing the infinity of skylines a multitude lives in everyone and i'm just the same life is like a song it just keeps going until it ends and when will i apologize for all those things that still keep me up at night? i guess it's good that i keep movin on but nothing ever feels like it's done 'invincible' wasn't the right word, it's more that i had to learn how to be weak playing games just to pass the time but some weeks i'm so tired i could die recovery isn't linear, i remind myself again life is like a song it just keeps going until it ends and when will i apologize for all those things that still keep me up at night?
9.
good times for a change see, the life i've had could make a good man bad so please, please, please, let me get what i want lord knows it would be the first time haven't had a dream in a long time see, the life i've had could make a good man bad so for once in my life, let me get what i want lord knows it would be the first time lord knows it would be the last time
10.
Rain 01:43
she's got more money than she can shake a stick at she doesn't know how to help herself but she won't learn, she's afraid of the world she pays people to wipe her mouth i got more sorrows than i can shake a stick at they surround me like a shark-filled moat but i don't need your help, your therapy i got myself, i got myself you got more problems than you can shake a stick at they eat you from the inside out but you're untreatable, they've tried to put you down no matter how hard they try, you still won't change muddy puddles after torrential rains soakin up my feelings come back rain, so i can cry again come back rain, come back rain

about

This album contains many patterns. Check out the descriptions under individual songs for lots of commentary and fun facts.

credits

released November 17, 2023

~ thanks to aki mccullough for playing violin, mixing and mastering
~ thanks to nu house studios where we recorded this album
~ thanks to lambda charlemagne for making the cover art
~ thanks to a nameless demon for moral support
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lux vs lumen Boston, Massachusetts

inventing new types of transgender daily ~ debut album 'square' OUT NOW!! :D

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